Video Exploration · Inside the Tango Laboratory · 55 sec
What You Hide from Yourself
with Valeria Zolotco
Psychoanalyst & Founder of Psychology of Movement
About
There is more to us than the version of ourselves we recognise. Parts of ourselves we have yet to acknowledge can influence our choices, our relationships and the desires we dismiss before giving them a chance.
Our conscious wishes tell only part of the story.
A woman might arrive saying, “I want to feel more feminine.” She has an image in mind: softer, more sensual, more at ease. But what if becoming softer is already a demand she places on herself? What if the part of her waiting to be acknowledged is anger?
An attempt to become more desirable could then push an essential capacity further out of reach: the ability to object, protect a boundary or insist on something that matters.
That is why I want to understand what the wish means to the person expressing it. Whose image are we trying to live up to? What do we hope will happen if we become that person? What would we have to silence in ourselves?
Unconscious conflicts can shape what feels possible even when our conscious intention is clear. Understanding those conflicts may change the direction of the work. The next step could involve expressing strength, tolerating disagreement or discovering a practice that offers a different way of experiencing ourselves.